Rage Rising: Anger is Scary

Grr! Anger management is not fun. I manage my anger and it manages to manage me.

Frosting helps in anger management.

I’ve already messed up. From this post where I wrote that I’d blog every week! That was months ago!

Anger. These days, it covers everything from road rage to temper tantrums. Newspapers are full of examples. Personally,  I am angry at myself for messing up and not doing what I said I’d do.

I’m procrastinating writing this blog because I don’t want to go back there. And procrastinating only makes me fearful that I won’t get it done and then angry that I don’t get it done.

Plus, I don’t want to go back to the origin of the anger mess. I might open up something I can’t get out of. What if I get stuck in that icky place again? I can already feel the surge of fear, the rage rising.

We see movies like The Hulk (I”d be mad too, if I’d turned myself green! Worse than a bad hair day!), or Anger Management, (so many times situations were misunderstood because of the plot, but they turned into painful moments).

Yesterday afternoon. I skimmed my home library for the right books–information on anger, or with anger related references like anger management, aggression, violence.

For those of you that don’t know, I am writing a nonfiction book about my walk through the dark tunnel of anger and recovery. I’m not sure what I had in mind when I first thought of doing this. I felt it would be a tie-in with my fiction, The Great Escapee Series. Seemed like a good idea–a correlation between the main character, Clarence and his anger, and me and my anger.

But then I started digging through my old journals of that time period. And yesterday, I read all afternoon, yes, but it was about aggression, fear, violence and hatred.

Also, I want this book to be meaningful and hopeful. But, as usual, I had no idea how deep I’d have to go and where God wanted to take me. If you journal, you’ll know that where God and those words scattered on the page often take you can be someplace awful. We need to get rid of our junk. But not today. Or tomorrow.

The main book I read yesterday was The Gift of Fear and Other Survival Signals That Protect Us From Violence by Gavin De Becker. I just looked up the parts on anger from the index. I’m going to read the whole book. But it’s not what I thought it would be. It’s as scary as a horror story.

Still, I don’t know how to do this … this blog thing about anger. It needs to be honest. I want it to be meaningful–to change someone’s life. I want it to change my life.

But I sense myself hovering over the introduction–writing several posts as the intro–procrastinating getting into the gritty stuff. I’ll just write the first half of the book about other people and maybe, maybe I’ll get to my stuff.

No.

Next week, I open the first phase–when my daughter got sick.

 

 

I Made Things Up About Osceola, Nebraska!

I’m just sitting here on my new back porch, eating lunch. The birds are twittering back and forth. The cat is lurking and probably stalking those birds. Temperature is a balmy 81 degrees. It’s August in Nebraska. I’m not making this up!

So why plot a book in small town Osceola, Nebraska? Seems like nothing happens here, right?

If you read the Orange book about Osceola, there was, at one time, a shoemaker, livestock sales barn, furniture store, billiard parlor (there still is one–in my basement!), lightning rod salesman and on and on!
Yup. Things have changed. There’s now a machine and die company, Quality Machine and Tools, Inc. run by Tim and Kelly.

We have two eateries: Terry’s Drive-Inn run by … Terry, White Eagle and another one in the works.

There are several Ag-related businesses and the biggest bins this side of anywhere. Antiques store, plumber. I can’t name them all! Plus the county seat, hospital and nursing home.

So again, why use Osceola for my book series? No Hobbits here. Life is pretty ordinary.

 

Unless … you make things up. :o)

Did you know there are sink holes and caves and secret pools here?

Only in my books.

Because I make things up!

And that’s what writers do.

I Didn’t Quit!

I love ‘I didn’t quit’ stories.

As my son, Jeremy says, “Keep on pushing.”

When you have a gift, you have to do it. Whether it is drawing motorcycles like my son, or writing books like me, or going to school, or working at a job that you know you are destined to do, it calls you.

It draws you. There is no reasoning or comprehending.

You just have to do it.

You are called.

You are chosen just for that task … or job … No one else can do it but you.

So don’t quit.

Pe-e-e-ek!

Released Cover LARGE EBOOK                                                         This is a peek at the book cover.

I can’t believe this is mine!

Thank you Jane Dixon

Smith! The design is perfect!

And thank you Judy Krysl! The title is

perfect!

This is happening!

Isn’t He Cute?

IMG_2570I know. This is weird. You know where I am, or rather, what department of Menard’s I’m in.

Posting about being in the bathroom is creepy enough, but taking a picture in there is over the top!

But, I have to do it. I see little faces all over and I have to shoot the picture. Isn’t he cute? See how his eyes twinkle … no wait … those are screws. But check out the dimple in his chi … a screw again.

This is even crazier … I see those faces most times after God has done something in my life, or when I have submitted to Him.

He rewards me. “Here my daughter. Here is My gift to you. You’re such a good girl, so I’m giving you this.”

No strings attached. The visuals always make me smile. Always.

I have a whole file of these from various venus. Many in bathrooms!

Have you ever noticed that drains (in bathrooms), purse/coat hooks (in bathrooms), faucets (yeah, in bathrooms) often look like faces? Do you notice. Do you take the time to capture it, whether by really looking, or by taking a picture? Do you take the time to see?

Anywhere?

It is probably the weirdest thing I do, other than write weird stories.

Wireless Writing

I just bought a new printer. I looked at several and spent hours reviewing comments and recommendations.

There were certain features I had to have on it: wireless printing, printing from my iPad, phone and computer.

This one even prints from the Cloud. Cool.

I settled on a Canon PIXMA MX922. I really like it so far — easy to set up, easy to print the day-to-day stuff. Prints both sides so it saves paper, too.

All that aside, wireless stuff is so convenient to the point of being lazy!

I have a story brewing about the wireless world. The unseen realm. That is my favorite flavor of story. It’ll flow soon — I just have to let it simmer awhile longer.

What started this whole post was a journal entry from back in April. As I scribbled (my notebooks are filled — all will need a translator at some point to decipher my coded scribbles!) I was thinking about how things work. When I hit print, for instance, how does the printer start? What is the wave or signal that triggers it to print?

I’m not a physicist, obviously. I just expect things to work! When I hit print, it better print. When I check the status of an internet order, I want all those towers to talk to each other.

That’s it. Communication. The back and forth stuff. I ask. The computer gets me the info, the response I am looking for.

Then it hits me as I’m scribbling in my journal.

The biggest wireless miracle?

Prayer.