There are days when I just want to limp along. I just want to sit and stare. Sip my coffee or tea and watch.

There are awesome quotes that I should live by: Elizabeth Gilbert's book title is a life quote, “Eat, Pray, Love.”  My former neighbor (she moved to heaven) used to tell me, “Nurture yourself.” Those both take action–I just want to sit. And stare.

Then there's the saying: some people make things happen, some watch what is happening and some don't know what's happening. Several different people have claimed that quote. Google it. They might have changed a word or two to make theirs different, but they all mean the same thing.

Some days I just want to watch. Sit and watch. And stare.

It's even okay if I don't know what's happening. Most days.

Because I'm tired. Or confused. Maybe depressed. Out of sorts. Lacking direction.

Shame on me. There is so much to do. I have three or more books planned for publishing this year!

Maybe it's all about procrastination. This next book, Rage Rising – My Walk Through the Dark Tunnel of Anger, is killing me. It's making me vulnerable. Ashamed. I'm opening up a whole lotta cans of worms, people. I don't want to look stupid. That old fear rises up again. So I hop on the merry-go-round and ride each horse–one horse is named Fear, one has Embarrassment embroidered on its saddle blanket, Shame is tooled into the leather bridle of the next, and …

Today, I choose to get off that spinning carousel.

Yesterday we watched The Polar Express. (I have the book, too!) I know. Wrong holiday. It was Easter. But the magic and wonder of that movie, the music, the effects. I sat and watched. And wondered.

The magic and the wonder stirred me up. Inspired me. Gave me goosebumps that pushed me out of the funk I was in.

It's okay to not know what's going on. It's even okay to watch, just to watch! To stand back and breathe. To behold the wonder.

As long as I get up.

And go back in.